Star Wars AU: Everything is the same, except R2-D2 doesn’t make beeps and whistles, and is instead voiced by Kayne West, who is given no script but is just reacting to all the crazy space shit going on around his little robot homie.
So my roommate/pseudo-adopted brother likes to tell me that I "can’t" home school my future spawn because they’ll be “fucked up” and “not know how to socialize.”
Let’s see. You are a public schooled, 30 y/o virgin self-identifying brony who has worked at walmart for a decade and has absolutely no plans for schooling/a career/a family/the future/anything beyond what the next video game you’re going to buy is…
…you have zero friends that aren’t co-workers (who are also bronies,) you literally cannot string together ONE SENTENCE without someone else prompting your words because you “don’t talk good” (actual quote,) and when the way you act/the things you say FINALLY make people uncomfortable enough to ask you to stop, you just say “well SOME people wouldn’t be uncomfortable” and carry on making everyone miserable…
…nevermind how much you enjoy trotting out the standard internet moron clichés of “not all men” and “not all cops” and “not all christians” just to be the contrary dickshit you are, no matter what the discussion is about or whether it even involved you in the first place…
…but my kids will be fucked up and unsociable because of homeschool, and it’s your job as the well-adjusted Mr. Man to tell me what I can and cannot do with my own hypothetical future children. Okay.
Guess who’s gonna be out on the street the minute I get pregnant? Hope being an asshole was worth it and that you can build a new house and family out of x-box games and ponies, you complete fuckwit.
MY MOM JUST TOLD ME TO CREMATE HER AND PUT HER ASHES IN AN HOUR GLASS SO THAT EVEN AFTER SHE’S DEAD AND GONE SHE CAN CONTINUE TELLING ME HOW MUCH TIME I’M WASTING.
this is my new after-death plan
accurate visual representation of my idiot roommate
I am likely too old to start watching Drake & Josh but I did and I loovvvveeee iitttttttt and I don’t care who knows
Also, Josh Peck got STUPID hot. Like damn. Come to butthead.
i have been yelling at everyone (except the pizza delivery boy, who can yell at a person bringing you pizza,) since i got up today and i ain’t even sorry
come at me world i’ll yell at your wack ass too it’s going DOWN